What’s the possibility of being friends with an ex after you break up with her? It’s one of the most common questions in a breakup, and the answer is often, but not always, yes. If you ever want to get back together with your ex, being friends with her will facilitate that process, but that can’t be the reason for your friendship. So how can one be “just friends” with an ex after a breakup? Follow these five tips to get the ball rolling.
Being Friends With an Ex Tip #1: Now that the relationship is over, you must forgive each other for whatever you feel each other did wrong, and get to work putting your lives back on track. How can you be friends with someone if you’re nursing a grudge against her? This is your first step toward becoming “just friends” with her – don’t try to raise the issue of the failed relationship with her. Leave behind the issues and problems of the past and concentrate on the future. What good can come of bringing up the past?
Being Friends With an Ex Tip#2: You need to accept that the romance is finished. The days of her being your girlfriend are over, they’re in the past. Let go of the relationship – it/s over. Accept the fact that all you’re going to have with her now is friendship. The true reason most guys try to be “just friends” after a breakup is that they want to resurrect the relationship sooner or later. Really – the romance is over. You’re going to see her with other men, for instance, and you cannot expect to have a real friendship with her if you let yourself get jealous. Think of it – what would you want her to do if she saw you with another woman?
Being Friends With an Ex Tip# 3: Don’t expect miracles overnight. Time is a great healer. Now this is a critical point: if she doesn’t want to be friends, you must honor your ex’s wishes. Remember that she’s hurting too. There’s a good chance she’ll change her mind after she’s gotten over some of her pain. Considering the pain you’re both enduring, a friendship with your ex immediately after a breakup is pretty far-fetched anyway. Here’s an important point: make certain that you’re over the pain before you start trying to establish a friendship with her.
Being Friends With an Ex Tip#4: Don’t try to communicate with her all the time. Constant calling and texting are activities for the romantically involved, not “just friends.” You’d wind up looking fairly desperate, and that won’t encourage her to keep up a friendship with you. You’ve got to trust me on this – if you try to contact her frequently, you’ll only wind up pushing her away. So don’t overdo it. Call her every now and then, and text her, but overall, keep your distance.
Being Friends With an Ex Tip#5: Finally, treat he like a friend, the way you treat your other friends. Gifts and cards and special treats are for girlfriends. Not “just friends.” You must have some platonic friendships with women. Treat her the way you treat them. If you just treat her like you would any of your other friends, you’ll be able to make it through the potentially awkward phase that follows the breakup.
Remember this important point – if you try to become friends just to keep alive the hope of re-establishing your romance, you’ll never get over her. If you manage to become good friends, that’s great! Those qualities that prompted you to try to get to know her better are still there. You should recognize if you cannot make a friendship with her, and move on with your life even if she’s not a part of it. If it’s not to be, it’s not to be. You know that you can live well without her in your life. Look forward to whatever life has in store and be happy!